Monday min-movies: Against nature edition

I don't know what to think about this video. It goes against everything I've been taught about nature in general.

Are we seeing nature's most wussy snake? Or perhaps we are witness to nature's first meat-eating rabbit with a hankering for snake.

Whatever the explanation, you gotta have respect for that rabbit. Otherwise, It. Will. Eat. You.

UFC 100: Echo calls it

The Ultimate Fighting Championship has finally reached its 100th card. Don’t worry, Granpa Echo isn’t going to get all nostalgic on you. Well, not much.

Though it is kind of crazy thinking back to the day, I was probably in Jr. High or so, when my professional wrestling fanatic of an older brother brought home the first UFC on video cassette. (Those are like a DVD, kids, but less shiny.)
He told me, “It’s like wrestling, but the guys actually hit each other and stuff. There’s blood and everything.”

Back then, there were very few rules governing the sport and fights were basically a collection of half-hazard brawls. The idea was simple: Who would win in a fight? The age old question of whether Bruce Lee could take out Tyson could finally be answered, in a matter of speaking, and I was hooked. Boxers fighting karate experts and sumo wrestlers taking on bar brawlers. It was insane.

Since then, the sport has evolved into a legitimate athletic competition wherein contenders (usually) train their bodies for years in various styles of combat in order to best their opponents; hence “mixed martial arts.” The differences between the first UFC tournament and where the sport stands now are as vast as night and day. Now we’re ready for UFC 100 and the sport is one of the fastest growing in the world, culminating with this weekend’s super-card featuring two title fights and a whole slew of what will, hopefully, be memorable bouts.

Here’s a look at the main card. I think I need to dedicate a separate post to the fact, after paying $50 for a pay-per-view, I don’t get to watch the full damn card. Especially since those undercard boys are usually the ones fighting to keep the dream alive, often showing more heart than anyone appearing in the main fights. But, again, that’s a rant for another day. Today we celebrate UFC 100.

Yoshihiro Akiyama vs. Alan Belcher: The night begins with two moderately fresh faces to the professional scene, both standout fighters. Akiyama’s mastery of judo and evolving standup should prove a formidable obstacle for the well-rounded Belcher. Partially because his name bothers me and partially because I feel Akiyama has a more experienced set of notches on his belt, I see this one going Akiyama’s way.

Dan Henderson vs. Michael Bisping: I cannot wait for this fight. Henderson and Bisping remind me a lot of each other, so this will likely be a wisdom vs. youth affair. Both have tremendous strength and lasting power, but Henderson has had some trouble finishing a fight in his last few bouts. Bisping, on the other hand, is cocky and hungry and quite good for such a young competitor. I fully expect this one to be a brawl and Michael “The Count” Bisping to have his arm raised high once all is said and done.

Jon Fitch vs. Paulo Thiago: Here we have another contest between two similar athletes. Fitch has a great ground game, can go the distance and has only gotten better with each fight. Thiago, though, is a master of submission and, as his debut in the UFC earlier this year showed, has some knockout power. If the fight stays standing, I’m giving it to Fitch. If it drops to the ground, I have a feeling Thiago will have minimal trouble turning the table in his favor, possibly removing one of Fitch’s limbs in the process.

Georges St. Pierre vs. Thiago Alves: I’ll give Alves a nod for the fact he’s shown improvement over the years. And I suppose St. Pierre had to fight somebody, so it might as well be him. Alves, though, is not ready for a mentally and physically prepared St. Pierre and that’s exactly who he’s about to step into the octagon with. I expect to see a title fight between St. Pierre and the winner of the Fitch/Thiago bout by year’s end.

Brock Lesnar vs. Frank Mir: I don’t really like Brock Lesnar or Frank Mir, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to see these two guys tee off on each other for five rounds of viciousness. Mir made a plaything out of Lesnar’s ankle in their first outing following a series of blows from Lesnar that left me wondering how long Mir could survive. That was Lesnar’s first experience in the UFC and one of his first professional bouts in MMA. But the dude has learned a lot since then and can still hit like a jackhammer.

Once again, I’m calling this fight based on where it goes. From the ground, I think Mir will use his experience to keep the match in his favor. If it stays standing, though, I’m not sure if anyone can suffer too many blows from Lesnar’s ginormous mitts.

In short, I don’t see either of the belts changing hands at UFC 100, but I do think every fight on the card will be worthy of its lofty placement within the biggest event in the promotion’s history.

Undercard
Mark Coleman vs. Stephan Bonnar
Mac Danzig vs. Jim Miller
Jon Jones vs. Jake O'Brien
Dong Hyun Kim vs. TJ Grant
CB Dollaway vs. Tom Lawlor
Matt Grice vs. Shannon Gugerty

(As an aside, the gloves are officially coming off between staticechoes and one pepperedthought. Look for more on this feud come UFC 101)

Games to get in July

You hear that enormous, collective sigh? That’s the gaming masses finding a little extra cash in their pockets and time on their hands thanks to the annual summer gaming drought.

Enjoy it while it lasts, kiddies. The October-November cram-fest is nearly upon us wherein publishers try their damndest to get their mitts on that delicious holiday monies.

For now, though, why not enjoy some of those games you still have in the ole backlog from last year’s holiday surplus? I’m still eager to finally get around to Fallout 3. A blogger can dream.

July
1st- BlazBlue (PS3, 360)
16th- Holy Invasion of Privacy Badman! (PSP)

I’m excited for HIOPB to be releasing this month because it got great scores in Japan and the unique dungeon building gameplay looks like it’ll make for a fun puzzler. It’s also just nice to see these odder titles make their way across the pond.

For those who enjoy a top-notch fighting game, look no further than BlazBlue. From the makers of Guilty Gears (BB. GG. What’s with these guys and repeating letters? Next up, Pragmatic Pummeling.), this gorgeous 2-D fighter features a smaller roster than most games in the genre, but also one of the best and most well-rounded.

Move quickly, if you intend to buy. A “standard” edition comes out later this month, but the “special” edition out right now features a two-disc soundtrack you’ll actually want to listen to and a bonus disc of tutorials, strategies and more. The best part is that this comes at no extra cost.

Movies to miss in July

I always thought of myself as a romantic at heart, so I’m not sure why I hate on all these generic romantic comedies so hard. Oh, wait. Maybe it’s because they’re generic romantic comedies.

If you gots to go to the theater this July, do your best to avoid the following.

I Love You Beth Cooper- If there’s one thing I hate worse than the average generic romantic comedy, it’s one that is complete and utter BS. Maybe that’s what people find so appealing about these movies wherein the characters take chances and break stereotypes; they’re a nice thought even though it would never happen that way.

Name me one stuck-up high school cheerleader who, after being publicly humiliated by the class nerd on graduation night, would treat him to an evening of adventure, mayhem and sexual tension, and I’ll actually go see this movie. I would much rather see a movie wherein the nerd makes his confession and is then treated to a night of physical abuse by all the class jocks and a lifetime of embarrassment. I hate that’s how the world works, but I’m nothing if not grimly realistic.

Orphan- Look out everyone, it’s Damianette. We get it, kids can be really, really scary. Especially when they wear a strikingly bright outfit and give you a vacant stare. Thank you, The Ring, for rekindling everyone’s fear in creepy little children. Problem is, it’s not really scary anymore.

This one looks like a mix between The Omen, The Good Son and maybe a little Silent Hill thrown in. With so much creativity going for it, it’s sure to be a winner. (/sarcasm)

The Ugly Truth- What happens when a strong, independent female television executive is paired with a male pig of a star who promises his expertise on men, women and relationships can net her the man of her dreams despite her blatantly obvious hatred of the guy? I sure hope they don’t end up together. That would be just too crazy.

Aliens in the Attic- You know how you look at a valleygirl in the mall with a purse slung over her shoulder with a shaking, yappy little dog poking its head out as if it were some newfangled sort of wallet or something? That’s how I feel about this movie: insta-hate for no real reason.

Review round-up: inFamous, Gran Torino, Street Sweeper Social Club

Gran Torino- I finally got around to checking out Clint Eastwood’s latest offering and man have I been missing out. My one gripe with the movie is that practically everyone in it can’t act for $#!+.

Seriously, there are some awkward scenes here where I’m fairly sure Eastwood, donning his director’s cap and speaking in that gravely tone, told the actors “I want you to explore your characters in this scene. No script. Just give me some honest to goodness, real life drama, damn you.” They failed miserably, but the good news is that Eastwood is so awesome as a racist half-crazed ex-soldier you really don’t care how wretched everyone else is.

Shot well and mostly great writing. Dirty Harry scores again.

Street Sweeper Social Club- What happens when you form a super-band featuring Rage Against the Machine’s Tom Morello and The Coup’s Boots Riley? The answer is “not very much.”

Morello does some nice guitar and bass work, but it’s all standard fare. Riley’s lyrics are pretty tight (Flow-wise. I’m not being hip here), but sometimes he tries to cram too many words into a single sentence. Other than a few standout tracks, “100 Little Curses” and “Promenade” come to mind, there’s not much worth revisiting here.

I was hoping for something meaty and revolutionary and, sadly, SSSC delivers neither.

inFamous- This game deserves a full post, but I’m lazy and you probably don’t want to read much more anyway. I’m doing this for both of us...You're welcome.

Following the story of a bike messenger named Cole, inFamous is a living story of a man coping with great power and a city struggling to survive after a tragic event wipes out thousands and leaves those still living cut off from the outside world.

Other than side missions needing a bit more variety, inFamous is absolutely fantastic. The world is large and breathing, the story is comic book awesomeness and the powers you earn come at a great pace and, by the end, leave you feeling like a real-life hero (or villain.) The controls are intuitive and the platforming is unlike anything you’ve ever seen. You’ll have a blast climbing, grinding and flying around literally everything in the city.

The dual karma moments give you the chance to save the city or watch it burn and, while some “serious” moments come off as laughable, the different powers granted to the good and evil sides are diverse enough to warrant at least two playthroughs. When the game clocks in at about 15 hours, that’s quite a bit of electric bang for your buck.

More so than anything, inFamous is an absolute blast to play. Minus a few bugs inherent in such a big, open game, you’ll marvel at the amount of polish that went into creating one of the best action games to come out this generation.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Dirty rock with sass and class

Often called the YYYs by those much cooler than myself, I was once again late to the awesome-party when it comes to listening to these guys. Since I liked every song I had heard from the group on the ole’ radio, it seemed only natural that I finally dip my toe in and check out a full album.

Luckily, I’m gifted with wicked friends who are willing to make legal backups of their own CDs for me to look after for them. So instead of just one album, I was bombarded by all three of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ offerings at once.

As I was told to expect, the debut Fever to Tell had the best all-around music. The sound was gritty, the lyrics were spunky, punky and sharp and the experience was one of solid rock.

Show Your Bones was a nice middle ground with some poppier hits mixed in with the gruff tunes reminiscent of Fever.

To most, though, I would recommend the more recent and self titled offering Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Full of radio-friendly dance numbers, it also sports a nice collection of slower, more thoughtful ditties to help listeners gauge whether or not they are ready for the backlog.

Though if you like what you’ve heard on the radio for the past few years, such as myself, you should be in for a treat no matter which route you take.

There's no need to make comparisons to other bands since vocalist Karen Orzolek is nothing like what you've heard before.

The sound is solid and often complex, which can be a a bit of a workout for your ears the first time through. If you stick with it, though, there will be a moment where everything sort of clicks into place. Further listens will bring goofy grins and new discoveries as each song pulls back the layers for further exploration.

Call it punk. Call it alternative. Call it artsy. Call it whatever you want. The simple fact is that it's great rock music. Period.

Monday mini-movies: Whack-a-kitty edition

Since most of the recent monday mini-movies have been of the violent variety, I decided to change up the pace a bit this week with something overwhelmingly adorable.

Prepare to vomit cuteness, folks. Seldom is animal cruelty so very, very right.

Rejected T-shirt ideas: Pawned

This latest offering in the staticechoes.com rejected t-shirt line will never appear at retail. The subtle, yet effective, parallels drawn between the wizard's game of chess and a popular term in nerdy gaming dialogue are too far outside the realms of normal folks' comprehension.

Rather than grasp the clever (oh-so-clever) play on words and imagery, the average viewer would instead assume the shirt had something to do with the selling one's goods to a man stationed behind a fenced-in register for a fraction of what said goods are actually worth.

Alas, staticechoes' genius is once again its own worst enemy.

The Hangover- Echo reviews it

If what happened in Vegas truly stayed there, we'd never get movies as entertaining as The Hangover.

The setup is simple: Three guys take their best bud on a crazy bachelor party trip to the city of sin to have one last hoo-rah before locking on the ole' ball and chain. A blast (apparently) was had by all as the guys get wasted beyond comprehension and wake up unable to remember anything from the past 24 hours. The vast majority of the film follows the three friends, played by Bradley Cooper (Nip/Tuck), Ed Helms (The Daily Show) and Zach Galifianakis (stand-up comedian), as they try to figure out what happened the night before in order to find the missing groom-to-be.

When you wake up to a tiger in the bathroom, a missing tooth, a live chicken strutting around the motel room and a veritable tower of beer cans stacked to the roof, clearly there's a lot to figure out. Thankfully, while a missing automobile serves as a key plot point, nobody ever asks "Dude, where's my car."

Given the premise, I honestly wasn't expecting much from this one. The three stars are mostly new at this sort of thing and the concept has been done a few dozen times. It was a wonderful surprise, then, that I was laughing through the entire film.

Cooper is charming, vulgar and well-cast as the kind of guy who gets his friends to leap before they look despite the likely unfortunate consequences. Helms is hilarious and reminiscent of Steve Carell in all his awkward and repressed glory and Galifinakis is a visual and comedic delight. While I'm sure writers Jon Lucas and Scott Moore penned quite a bit of the film's best gags, Mr. G's delivery felt more ad libbed and, thus, had a huge payoff. It's hard not to grin just looking at the guy.

What could have been the expected frattish bullcrap crammed into the majority of these types of films (there's some of that, sure), is instead a great addition to buddy films and comedies in general.

If you're in need of a buttload of laughs, you have no reason to miss out on this one.

UFC 99: Echo calls it

We’re almost to the century mark for UFC and boy howdy has the sport come a long way. (I now say “boy howdy,” fyi.) I’ll reminisce more about the evolution of UFC and the sport of MMA in general next month when the 100th event occurs, but for now, we’re talking UFC 99: The Comeback.

Mirko Cro Cop’s trouncing of relative newcomer Mostapha Al Turk is set to kick things off. Likely to be one of the least exciting fights of the night, I predict Cro Cop will steamroll Al Turk in short order. I’m fairly certain the point of this bout is to help the Croatian build up a little confidence and help ease him back into the UFC. Then again, if he’s fighting like he was a year or so ago, he could get his head caved in again.

Spencer Fisher is fun to watch, but I don’t know enough about Caol Uno to make any real predictions. Should be a fun fight to watch.

Marcus Davis and Dan Hardy, however, are two equally matched fighters with nearly identical records. I’m hoping for some real fireworks here. Davis can toss some hurting bombs. And if anybody is in need of a face wrecking, it’s a mohawked guy nicknamed “The Outlaw”. Just sayin.

Once again, I know too little about Ben Saunders to know if he’s going to stand a chance against Mike Swick, but his undefeated record is likely to be tarnished after Saturday night. Swick don’t mess around.

Then we get to the fight that has me scratching my head the most. Cain Velasquez is young and strong, but he’s unproven. Cheick Kongo, on the other hand, is a freaking powerhouse. Velasquez is an accomplished wrestler, but I feel comfortable saying it’s extremely hard to bring out the grapple game once Kongo has ripped off both your arms and begun beating you about the head with the bloody ends.

The big fight of the night has me a bit anxious. I love both Rich Franklin and Wanderlei Silva, so I want to see both of them win. Likewise, I don’t like seeing either of them lose. Silva has a brutal standup game and can deliver devastating strikes, but Franklin is scrappy and has no problem shoving his knee through the back of your head. As long as it’s a battle, I’ll be comfortable with this fight going either way. Franklin wants to prove he’s still one of the best and Silva could use a win right now. My heart says Franklin is going to wow, but my head says Silva is going to catch the former high school teacher with a vicious slew of blows and send him to beddy-bye land. (And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you hedge your bets.)

To see how it all turns out, be sure to tune in this Saturday as the broadcast will be live at noon (Fighting out of Germany) and repeat at the normal time of 7 p.m. For more info, drop by ufc.com.